Parenting has been the most sanctifying process so far in my life. Nothing compares to it – not living overseas as a missionary, not marriage, not 11 years in ministry. I sometimes feel like I am really new at parenting being only 6 years in. I just finished a wonderful book called, God’s Grace for Every Family: Biblical Encouragement for Single Parent Families and the Churches that Seek to Love them Well by Anna Meade Harris. I’ve often identified myself as growing up in a “broken” home, but in this book she has changed my language in saying we all grow up in “broken” homes. No home is perfect. I’m looking back growing up in a single-parent home and am constantly thinking, how did my mom do this all by herself? Parenting is hard, much less doing it as a single parent. But praise God, through it, Jesus met her, and thus met me. I am sifting through how I didn’t grow up seeing a marriage or how a dad parents his children, yet God has given so much grace in a joy-filled marriage and wisdom in parenting. My husband, Brian, comes from a wonderful, what people would call “stable” family, but as he also says, not perfect. So even with both of our backgrounds, we are being sanctified in this parenthood journey. And I’m so grateful the Lord has given us each other. It is one of the sweetest things seeing Brian be a dad. I think our kids see we are on the same team and they feel safe and loved.
As a former Children’s Director, family discipleship has been a huge passion of mine. Parenting and discipleship go hand in hand. There’s the spiritual aspect to always wanting to point our kids to the Gospel and there’s the practical aspect of how to implement that. My prayer has been that my kids would see their need for Jesus and give their lives to Him. With that comes the need to see their sin. And with that comes situations that bring out sin. I think it’s like when we ask the Lord for patience and then He gives us opportunities to exhibit patience. In a similar way, this prayer for my kids has brought about situations where sin comes out of my kids and I have the opportunity to parent them. I acknowledge my own sin, showing them I’m not perfect either, and get to explain repentance to them. The need to turn from sin and look to Jesus. Through this, I see God parenting me, so lovingly. I want to control them, but I need to trust God with them. I can’t force my kids to repent, but I can cultivate a heart that sees right from wrong and a need for Jesus. The other day, I was worried and my 6 year old said, “Mom, why does your voice sound tired?” I paused, and then said, “I’m worried and need to trust God, so I’m actually going to pray out loud right now.” And we did. It’s amazing how much our children soak up no matter their age. People often label 2 year olds as “the terrible twos,” but why should we speak that over our kids? Every age and stage has its moments, but it’s a season. I’m reminded the goal isn’t behavior modification, but heart transformation.
Praise the Lord, we don’t have to be in this parenting journey alone. It’s encouraging to be surrounded by family and friends who will give wisdom, advice, prayer, and tell you to laugh and not take certain situations to the extreme. Because we as parents, can tend to see something in our kids now and then play it out in our heads worrying about their whole future and end up going down the rabbit hole that they’ll grow up dysfunctional or psychos. There is no perfect formula, no perfect parents. But, if I’m praying I become more like Jesus, I know He will continue to sanctify me through parenting. Some days, I wonder why are we adding to this mix through adoption, which I know will be so hard. Yet, He gives daily bread – daily grace, daily wisdom, daily strength. And what better joy and privilege than to raise the next generation of men and women who have the opportunity to live for Jesus and also be sanctified.
“Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23