This post is honest. Not that my other posts aren’t, but this one shares some vulnerability as our family has been visiting churches the past 3 months – some of the hard and good that have come from this journey. For those that might be new here, the backstory is I rolled off of staff as Children’s Director last December after 11 years. It was a wonderful season where I learned so much, loved investing in the next generation, and grew close to Jesus! I wrote more thoughts in a previous post: A New Season. Our family thought it would be wise to not stay at that church to allow them to move forward and have the freedom to do different things in Children’s Ministry, not the way “Mandy has always done it,” especially since my kids would still be in the Children’s Ministry. We also sensed a desire to find specific community with other adoptive families that we can learn from and walk alongside with, which is hard to change community because our previous church has been such a sweet community for 11 years and is so supportive of our adoption. The staff respected and were supportive of our decision and our family felt loved and celebrated upon our leaving!
So we come to this transitionary season. Some of the hard has been wrestling with these questions: How do we find a church and it not feel like a selfish decision? How does our family live in the in-between of keeping in touch with previous community and finding new community? How do we build friendships visiting churches when we will eventually need to choose just 1? The unique thing about our situation has been with changing churches, it has affected our community, my job, and our entire family. We acknowledge no church is perfect because people aren’t perfect, including us. Yet, God chooses to work through His people and His church to make the Gospel known and grow His kingdom. It makes me think of Ephesians 3:10, “so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known.” We are all on mission together! We are one body. One family. Brothers and sisters in Christ. My husband, Brian, and I decided it would be best to visit a church a month at a time. That would help give us a feel for the church, our kids would know what to expect for a longer period of time without changing week to week, and this would allow us to get to know people. We knew of 4 churches we wanted to visit based on people we knew through family, friends, and connections through our son’s school.
In the midst of the hard, I have found there are many good things in this process of visiting churches. One of which has been walking this out with Brian. It’s the first time we’ve ever done this in our marriage. Because I was on staff, he came to my church when we got married. We have had some of the best conversations as we have prayed and wrestled with this together. It is strange being on the attender side of things and I catch myself evaluating and want to guard against a critical spirit. There has been such freedom worshipping without responsibilities. I’ve had really sweet communion with Jesus, especially this past Good Friday and Easter, one of the busiest seasons in the church, but this year I was able to just take part and soak in the incredible love of God sending His only Son for me! We got to worship together as a family. Having been on staff, I understand what it takes to serve every Sunday. Those on staff desire to create a space where people can encounter Jesus. The next time you’re attending church, be sure to thank those that give their all for you to grow closer to Jesus. And I know I had the joy of serving alongside some amazing volunteers, so if you aren’t already, see how you can serve your church (but that’s a tangent for another post :-D)!
A great joy has been seeing the “big C” Church at work. Praise God we even have the option of so many good churches in our area! This isn’t the case for many places, especially around the world. It’s easy to take this for granted. Having been at the same church for 11 years, it has been wonderful to see God moving and working in many churches in our area. Each church has their strengths and it’s beautiful. I’ve thought about even though we’ll eventually have to choose 1 church, by visiting these few, we have met people we would have never otherwise. We’ve had the opportunity to reconnect with some of Brian’s childhood friends, worship with his family, meet someone who grew up in Indonesia with a friend of mine who I knew from college in Alabama, be a part of seeing God starting a church plant, and get to know families who are in the trenches of adoption.
I’m learning that in seasons of transition, I so often want to just get to what’s on the other side of the transition. The in-between time should be as short as possible. But these moments are building trust, faith, sanctification. This time is fruitful, necessary, even good.
So as we consider where we will land and call a church home, our prayer is that we would, “grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:15-16) It’s been hard, but good, and we’re learning a lot!